Emmieism's

While playing Uno, I laid a card and Emmie responded, "Sorry, but you just went up the wrong tree."

Emmie:  What are you doing?

Mom:  Deleting contacts.

Emmie:  Why?

Mom:  Because they're recruits that didn't come to Coe that are cluttering up my phone.

Emmie:  Except you realize that you're on a computer, right?

I came home from teaching a tennis lesson and Emmie was on the treadmill downstairs.  Eric had told her that she couldn't be on her iPad any longer unless she was also doing something active.  When I went downstairs, she proudly told me that she'd already walked over a mile, but also admitted to standing on the side from time to time and swiping her foot on the treadmill to make it sound like she was still walking, "What?? I was playing the system."  She also used the arm rails to suspend herself over the belt once or twice, but I let her off the hook for that since she had to implement strength (and use her core) to pull it off.

I joined Emmie for lunch at school.  She and her classmates were having a discussion about who they were going to vote for in the Gym City election for Mayor (only 5th graders can run), and each candidate's campaign slogan (Save the Trees, Get More $$).  I asked which of them planned to run next year and if they'd already come up with a slogan.  Emmie immediately chimed in, "Vote for Emmie. Get a puppy."

Moments later, the lunch lady attempted to take charge of the room.  Emmie leaned over to me and whispered, "She's a hypocrite.  She yells into the microphone, BE QUIET."