While Mom was cutting Emmie's nails on the porch, she jumped:
Mom: Sorry, I had a bug on my leg.
Emmie: How big?
Mom: Big enough for me to feel it.
Emmie: Hah. I have pants on. Joke's on the bug!
A few mins later....
Emmie: Can't we just trim them instead of cut them?
Mom: If you let me do this more often, yes, but you tend to let them get out of hand.
Emmie: That's funny. Out of hand.
While eating a fruity pebble donut:
"The frosting and crunch is like an explosion of goodness."
After Crosley got loose and we spent 5 minutes trying to catch her, we stepped into the house. Emmie opened the refrigerator and grabbed a soda, "This calls for a nice drink."
Emmie: What happens if I get arrested because I don't know how to drive when I get older?
Mom: We will teach you how to drive before you do so, and as long as you're not negligent, you won't get arrested. For instance, if I slammed on the gas right now and purposefully ran into the car in front of me, I'd get arrested.
Emmie: What happens to your child if you get arrested?
Mom: If I get arrested? Eric, your Dad and Anna would take care of you.
Emmie: What if you were my only parent?
Mom: Grandma and Grandpa would take care of you.
Emmie: Oh, that'd be awesome. Except the part about you getting arrested. Or, Grannie Jannie?
Mom: Yes.
Emmie: That'd be sick too. I mean sick as in cool. Not like, oh, I feel sick.
Emmie chose not to share part of her ice cream with Mom and then randomly started singing:
Emmie: How do you like me now? How do you like me now?
Mom: Less.
Emmie: That was actually really funny.